I decided to write this blog as part of my cultural integration process. After 2 ½ years of living in California I realize more and more that cultural integration is not a one way street but requires mutual openness and willingness to dare to think outside one’s own cultural box of concepts of “right” and “wrong”, “normal” and “weird” without judging and/or ridiculing what is foreign to one’s common ways of doing life. With this blog I hope to make a contribution to the improvement of this mutual understanding and invite my family and friends both American and German to be part of this process. Please note that this blog does NOT intend to reinforce any stereotypes or make unsophisticated generalizations but only portrays the personal experience of a German girl born in the heart of Swabia and her story of immigrating to a Californian metropolis of the extra large kind namely Los Angeles (4 million). Whenever I will post general articles with general opinions I will mark the content that relates to MY personally experienced challenges, struggles, discoveries and revelations. As I am writing part of this in retrospective there is no particular order to the postings. Feel free to share comments on YOUR experience with keeping in mind that the purpose of this blog is to foster UNDERSTANDING and not to OFFEND anybody! Due to the nature of the subject offense of some kind will probably occur at some point so I apologize before hand and encourage everybody to be a constructive part of this. As a good friend of mine who lives in a inter-cultural marriage as well always says: “Remember, it’s just different.”

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Hidden expactations or the search for me in a foreign land

It's hard having to always figure out cultural expectations. Whatever I do, I can never assume what's considered "normal" is normal to me or that people get what I like. It's exhausting.

The problem is, there is no "my world" here yet. I have to build it first and it takes a lot of effort to find out what's me in this place.

I just feel like I'm in a foreign world and it's hard to maintain or build an ID of myself since a lot of what I like(d) is simply different here or hard to find.

 I just don't know what's expected of me e.g. on my birthday, what people need to know, what they might do to me. It's just scary, you know.

It's just this whole culture struggle that I can never escape. It's at work, it's at church, it's with in-laws. I'm trapped between what's normal to me, what I miss and having to figure out what people expect to not offend anybody or appear weird. It's a very tiring and vulnerable place to be in. There is a lot of pain.  I just feel all this pressure of things I'm supposed to do but I'm not good at them and it takes so much effort to try and then I still don't get them right.


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